


i got your loving on repeat

by nectar



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Feelings Realization, Fluff, Friends With Benefits, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Underage Drinking, M/M, Mature Jokes, Mutual Pining, by mature i mean dick jokes yes im looking at you mark, half of the story is mark overthinking, not relevant but hc is a barista
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-19
Updated: 2019-07-19
Packaged: 2020-07-08 18:43:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19874284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nectar/pseuds/nectar
Summary: Donghyuck looked panicked for a whole milisecond until he composed himself. He rolled his eyes.“I was busy, get your head out of your ass. Besides,” he glanced down but snapped his eyes back up to Mark’s, “why would I be texting you every day? We’re not-” a pause, Donghyuck tasting the words he was about to say next in his mouth. “Dating, remember?”Mark felt like a bucket of ice water has been drenched all over him. Donghyuck was right. They didn’t have to be talking everyday when they weren’t even dating at the first place. That was what couples do, not them. They weren’t a couple.“You’re right,” Mark croaked out.





	i got your loving on repeat

**Author's Note:**

> okay whew so this is very much unbeta-ed so pls excuse any typos/grammatical errors! also if the ending seems kinda rushed thats totally my fault since this fic had been collecting dust for a few months with the last bit left unwritten. and i wanted to post this as soon as i can since i have another thing i plan to write ;;
> 
> title is from h2h english ver. - nct 127 (go stream!!)
> 
> enjoy~

Losing your virginity is bound to be an unforgettable experience. For Mark, just turned eighteen and drunk out of his mind, he could only recall the one advice he’d received when he was melting to the mattress after, bones heavy and mind post-orgasm hazy.

“Do not, and I repeat, do not,” the girl— Soojin? All Mark remembers is that she’s a year older than him with plump, red lips that could kill —besides him said, “fall in love with someone you’re strictly only sleeping with. Ever.”

Eighteen year old Mark eyed the curve of her chest under the sheets and thought that he wouldn’t mind falling in love with someone like her. Of course, that was his wildest imagination talking, he knew from the get-go that the senior was way out of his league. So he replied, “Why’s that?”

The girl snorted. “You’re literally a baby.”

Mark found it hard to be offended because he was, only a freshman back then, laughably wide-eyed and curious. ‘Baby’ is toning it down.

“I’m one year younger than you,” Mark fruitlessly defended himself. His complaint went unnoticed.

“Things are just better when you separate them,” she continued. She rose, soiled white sheets falling in heaps around her feet.

She reached forward and ruffled Mark’s hair as goodbye. It didn’t feel condescending. “Less possible heartbreaks that way,” she winked, and set off.

And now, nearly two years later, Mark still take her words to heart.

Which is exactly why he can’t identify the heat curling in his stomach when he sees Donghyuck arrive with an unfamiliar face, arm around Donghyuck’s waist and touch lingering a second too long. The man in question, however, leaves as soon as he came, and Donghyuck is already walking over to them.

Renjun, who’s as speechless as he is, recovers faster and hesitantly lifts his hand up in a wave. Mark can’t even pretend to ignore Renjun’s questioning split-second gaze.

“Who’s the hottie?” Renjun curiously inquires.

Dammit. Renjun isn’t even exaggerating, the guy does seem like a hottie. Probably taller, stronger, and prettier than Mark. He hadn’t got a glimpse of the guy’s face, but he’s certain Donghyuck wouldn’t settle with anyone less than the spawn of Adonis, since Donghyuck is one himself.

Mark manages to keep his face neutral when Donghyuck stops right in front of them.

“Good morning to you too, Renjun,” he rolls his eyes, but gracefully turns to Mark with a hesitant smile, “Hey, you left something at my place last night.”

He digs a hand to the back pocket of his jeans and procures a black leather wristwatch. Mark gingerly takes it from his hold, eyeing the device with a slight frown. Last night, and now this morning...

Mark shakes his head to get rid of arising thoughts. “Thanks.” He smiles anyway, strapping the watch on. Donghyuck nods, and Mark notes that he isn’t looking anywhere near Mark’s face.

Renjun’s eyes narrow. “You haven’t answered my question.”

The three of them fall into step, walking along their campus’ main road. Autumn is just around the corner, and yellowing leaves crackle underneath their feet as they trudge forward. Mark can see Donghyuck playing with the bracelets on his wrist in his peripheral vision. A nervous habit.

“He’s a guy I met last week,” Donghyuck eloquently answers. Mark raises his head only to lock eyes with him, but the younger throws his gaze in an instant. Strange, Mark thinks.

Renjun seems oblivious to the growing awkward tension between them. Of course, he’s practically clueless of what’s going on. “For real? How did you guys know each other?”

“We met at a seminar,” Donghyuck says hurriedly. “He gave me his number, I texted him, and there’s that.”

Renjun whistles from besides him. “That’s sick. Well- good luck, dude. The guy looks like a catch,” he nudges Mark, “of course, if Mark here lets you go for it. About time you get a real boyfriend.”

At that, Mark stops abruptly. Renjun and Donghyuck, who are already a few steps ahead, turns around to stare at him. Well, Renjun stares at him. Donghyuck is staring at his shoes.

Mark curses under his breath. Trust him to make any situation ten times more awkward.

“I’m late, so I’ll go through a shortcut right around here. You guys go ahead,” Mark explains. He’s not completely lying, it’s true that there’s a shortcut to his faculty if he cuts trough the building next to him. But, his class doesn’t start for another thirty minutes.

Renjun must be satisfied with his half-assed excuse because he nods and gives Mark a thumbs up before turning and continuing his walk. Mark doesn’t linger to see Donghyuck’s reaction to his minor panic attack, and he quickly rushes through the door, desperate to escape an oncoming headache if he stayed there any longer.

Mark makes it to his first class of the day in record time. He checks the time on his watch as he places his bag on the desk. The same watch Donghyuck had given to him some minutes prior.

He smiles, bitterly, because it is also the same watch he took off last night, along with the rest of his clothes, before diving under the soft covers of Donghyuck’s dorm room bed with an equally naked Donghyuck underneath him.

__

See, it started out like this.

Most people meet at parties. It’s like a norm around here; the more parties you attend, the bigger your social circle will be. Mark deems it bullshit the very second he heard about it because socializing, in its essence, all boils down to skill. Which, mind you, he had plenty of, thank you very much.

He’d just got into his second year in college, and two hours in a random party he got invited to as a friend of a friend of another friend, he saw Donghyuck.

Donghyuck was a flower among withering vines. He was captivating, twinkling eyes reeling Mark in with his every roll of hips. They met in the middle, hands joining and fronts touching and body instantly moving to the music.

“What’s your name?” Mark had slurred, because his alcohol tolerance is slim to none and the way Donghyuck touches felt back then wasn’t making him any less drunk.

The boy in front of him honest-to-god laughed. His hand sneaked to slide up and down Mark’s back, touch leaving a fiery trail that blazes on his skin.

Mark found it addicting.

Donghyuck’s lips skimmed over Mark’s jaw and he pressed them to the shell of his ear, “Wouldn’t you like to know?” he whispered, words running together.

Mark pulled back to study the dark intent present in Donghyuck’s eyes. He closed his eyes, let their alcohol breaths mingle, and wordlessly, kissed the hell out of the beautiful boy. The boy kissed back.

Of course, it was like any other drunken make out session he’d experienced. Messy, teeth clashing with hands pulling each other impossibly closer. When Donghyuck forced them apart to take a breath, Mark could see a string of moisture connected from his lips to Donghyuck’s. He unconciously chased the younger’s lips, desperate to get another taste.

Donghyuck’s tounge peeked out to lick excess (Mark’s) spit on his lips. He grinned. Seconds later, he’s already pulling Mark out of the throngs of bodies on the dancefloor and upstairs, shoved him in an unoccupied bathroom and Donghyuck sunk down, down, down, to his knees.

If Mark can relive any moment in his life, it’d be that exact moment. When Donghyuck, pretty and nameless at the time, looked up at him with his tongue peeking out and his fingers on Mark’s fly, looking like an angel godsent and devil reincarnated all combined with the sole purpose of making Mark’s life a living hell.

That moment was also all Mark could remember when he woke the day after. As he prepared to take a shower, he realized that not only did he never end up getting the boy’s name, but he also didn’t get his number.

Groaning, he hit his head to the shower’s glass wall.

Fate, as corny as it may sound, did prove to be true because he looked up to find the same boy he’d been longing all morning just hours after. The boy who looked devastatingly put together— which was definitely unnatural after a night filled with booze —eyed over Mark’s zombie complexion and the bags under his eyes from behind the coffee shop counter. He clucked his tongue, asked for Mark’s order (Mark stuttered out his name followed by a “Venti iced americano.”), and scribbled on the plastic cup way longer than writing a simple ‘Mark’ would take.

When Mark took the finished order, he found out that the cup was not only adorned with his name but also under it was a messy ‘Donghyuck :)’, complete with his phone number. Mark glanced up to meet Donghyuck’s eyes. He was taking another customer’s order, but mouthed _My shift ends in an hour_ quick enough for Mark to catch.

So Mark waited. As promised, Donghyuck came rushing to his table already dressed in casual clothes with a slight flush on his cheeks, exactly an hour later.

“Donghyuck, huh?” Mark raised an eyebrow.

Donghyuck’s eyes twinkled in mirth. “The one and only.”

They got to know each other. Mark found out that Donghyuck was a bright eyed freshman studying law, had two cats illegally living in his dorm room shared with a best friend named Jeno, and would do anything for Michael Jackson. Donghyuck learned that Mark was half dead most of the time as a side effect of being an engineering student, had an extensive collection of sneakers, and could balance a spoon perfectly on the bridge of his nose 90% of the time.

Conversation flowed like honey. They never once talked about the night before.

Of course, that was before Mark rolled to his back and found himself looking straight at the ceiling of Donghyuck’s roommate-vacant dorm. Donghyuck panted besides him, bare chest heaving up and down. He turned to Mark and stared at him with wide eyes. The itchy blue sheets covering the rest of his naked body was bunched up between his fingers.

“This isn’t going to be a one time thing, right? Well, two time thing counting yesterday.”

His voice came out small, and Mark could feel the boy besides him shaking like a leaf after the intense orgasm he had just experienced. God, Mark didn’t even go that hard on him yet he was already like this. Donghyuck would seriously be the death of him.

At that, Mark stilled. An occasional fuckbuddy wouldn’t hurt, especially with his stressful schedules coming up. Donghyuck being gorgeous and great in bed is a win, too.

A voice blaring that he was going to regret what he was about to say went ignored, and Mark blurted out, “Sure. No feelings attached?”

The younger boy next to him pursed his lips, but nodded. His hands were already reaching to pull Mark into another kiss.

“No feelings attached,” Donghyuck repeated, before his words died in Mark’s mouth.

Long story short, they fucked every other week. When Mark needed a stress relieve, Donghyuck is a phone call away. Same goes with Donghyuck, one text and Mark is already on his way. It was simple.

An unspoken rule was that they didn’t tell any of their mutual friends about the arrangement. Mark was more than okay with that. With every day that passed, Mark found out more things about Donghyuck than he could ever imagine. Unconciously, they started gravitating towards each other when hanging out with their friends.

Jeno, Donghyuck’s roommate who was rarely home, finally met Mark and together they fit like a piece of puzzle. Renjun made it his life goal to annoy any person that Mark befriends so he naturally followed along. And where there was Renjun, there would also be his boyfriend Jaemin— who they later found out was Donghyuck’s friend from high school. All clicked into place like a key to its lock. Thus, the five of them was born.

Two months after hanging out all together,— two months of Mark and Donghyuck fooling around —they, Jaemin in particular, noticed a slight change in the atmosphere. What he said next was monumental:

“Are you and Mark dating?”

The question, which was directed to Donghyuck, hung in the air of Renjun’s apartment. Mark could feel Donghyuck tense from his position in between Mark’s leg; Mark was sat on the couch and Donghyuck leaned on him from the floor. Jeno’s eyes show no emotion as they flitted between them and the TV, acting disinterested. From the kitchen, Renjun, who was making popcorn, peeked his head out to observe.

Mark may be slow, but Donghyuck wasn’t. “Now where did that even come from?” he challenged Jaemin, an eyebrow raised.

Jaemin shrugged. “I see you two together more times that I’d like to admit. Plus, Mark never fusses when you cling to him. I’d get kneed right in the balls if I ever tried to sit on his lap like what you did earlier.”

The earth technically never stopped spinning but at that very moment, it felt like it to Mark. He casted his eyes down, staring at the back of Donghyuck’s head. Just as he was about to retort and maybe cry a little, Donghyuck beat him to it, like he always did.

He stood up, leaped into Mark’s embrace and planted a huge, sloppy smooch right at the highest point of Mark’s left cheekbone.

Before anyone could react, Donghyuck leaned back and let out a loud cackle. “Of course we are! Isn’t that right, Markie?”

His cheeks burned red hot. Mark was panicky _and_ easily flustered, and the combination of both was never good. Reflexively, Mark pushed the younger out of his space, making Donghyuck hit the carpet with a small huft. “What the fuck,” he nervously scratched at the back of his neck.

After a few seconds of awkward silence, Mark practically heard the breath all three of his friends had been holding, release at the same time. Jaemin giggled, rolling his eyes in disbelief.

“So you guys really aren’t dating, huh. Could’ve fooled me, I swear.”

“Yeah,” Donghyuck’s tone sounded a little strange, “duh.”

Upon knowing that there was no juicy news to gossip, they all returned to what they were doing before. Donghyuck stood up, brushed microscopic flecks of dirt off his clothes and instead of going back to his original position between Mark’s thighs, he stalked over to Jeno, poking and pestering him until the latter sighed and paid him attention. There were pink splotches just below Donghyuck’s ears, and Mark realized with a clenched throat that he was _embarrassed_.

Of what, Mark had no idea.

Donghyuck seemed to have forgotten Mark’s existence for the rest of the night. He didn’t even care to meet Mark’s gaze at the dinner table when Mark asked him to pass a slice of pizza. Thankfully, Renjun sat right next to Donghyuck and must’ve thought Mark was asking him, so he passed the whole box without any complaint.

Following that night, Mark’s phone faced total radio silence from Donghyuck. There wasn’t even the daily Instagram tag of memes that Mark had seen weeks ago on Twitter but had no heart to tell Donghyuck so he let him anyways.

(Seeing Donghyuck laugh excitedly about them the next day made it all worth it.)

Their friends, however, took Donghyuck’s response about their dating accusation and made it a running joke. Even though they knew Mark and Donghyuck weren’t actually a couple, they kept on teasing them as being one. Mark didn’t know how to feel about it while Donghyuck didn’t seem to mind, since he always laughed along.

A week later, he received a short ‘ _come over_ ’ and Mark’s heart nearly jumped out of his chest because that was the first direct interaction he’d had with Donghyuck in a long time. He raced to Donghyuck’s dorm, forgetting his jacket even though winter still lingered in the air but that was fine. A warm, smiling Donghyuck was waiting for him with open arms when he arrived.

Everything that happened between them seemed to have evaporated as they exchanged kisses, going deeper into the room. Mark’s back hit the bed with a small creak and Donghyuck giggled. He straddled Mark’s hips and leaned down to continue his assault on the older’s mouth.

“Wait,” Mark abruptly broke the kiss. Donghyuck let out a whine at the back of his throat that sent shivers running down Mark’s spine, which was _not helping_. He gently pulled the boy from above him and arranged his position so they were both sat on the bed facing each other.

“Aren’t we gonna talk about the whole shit you pulled after Jaemin asked if we were dating?”

Donghyuck’s furrowed his eyebrows. “What shit?”

“You know, ignoring me? Pretending like I didn’t exist for a whole week?” he pushed.

Donghyuck looked panicked for a whole milisecond until he composed himself. He rolled his eyes.

“I was busy, get your head out of your ass. Besides,” he glanced down but snapped his eyes back up to Mark’s, “why would I be texting you every day? We’re not-“ a pause, Donghyuck tasting the words he was about to say next in his mouth. “Dating, remember?”

Mark felt like a bucket of ice water has been drenched all over him. Donghyuck was right. They didn’t have to be talking everyday when they weren’t even dating at the first place. That was what couples do, not them. They weren’t a couple.

“You’re right,” Mark croaked out.

Donghyuck smiled, and it might be Mark’s imagination running wild but the lilt of his mouth looked sad. Didn’t matter though because it was quickly replaced with a dazzling grin, his body already inching forward to trap Mark against the bed headboard.

“Now,” he licked his lips, “where were we?”

And the rest was history.

__

“You’re bothered.”

Mark glares at Jaemin who’s sat in front of him from the top wire of his glasses. He catches him stealing a fry from Mark’s plate, to which Jaemin grins guiltily at.

They’re in a campus cafeteria, students sparsely littered here and there. Mark had left his second class of the day at one PM with a grumbling stomach and decided he didn’t feel like eating alone. He almost called Donghyuck, wanting to invite him to get dumplings at their favorite place downtown, but his finger halted before pressing the green icon. He didn’t know if he wanted to be alone in an enclosed space with Donghyuck after the shenanigan earlier morning, so he opted for Jaemin instead. Jaemin is almost always available to hang out with and the cafeteria in the west wing where Jaemin’s department resides sells bomb burgers.

Mark lets out a yawn. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“It’s about Donghyuck, isn’t it? I knew it!”

Mark squints in annoyance. “For the last time, I’m not bothered. And no, what the fuck, why would this be about him?”

Jaemin cackles, making a few heads snap their way. Mark buries his head in his arms. He really doesn’t need this. Why is he constantly being tortured? Hadn’t he done enough for the world? He stopped using plastic straws ages ago and volunteers in elderly nursing homes every month, what more could he do to stop from suffering?

“Easy,” Jaemin quiets down and smirks. Oh no. “You have a crush on him. A big, fat crush. Especially now that Donghyuck got a new boytoy. You’re _jealous_.”

“What? No!” Mark splutters. Jaemin claps delightedly.

“Your red face says otherwise. Come on, it’s already time for you to stop lying to yourself. Besides, Renjun told me about what happened this morning, it just strengthens our hypothesis even more.”

“Our?” ignoring the rest of Jaemin’s sentence, Mark asks.

“Yes. Me and Renjun are more perceptive than you think.” Jaemin raises an eyebrow and continues, “That, and we share one braincell. What he knows, I know.”

“That’s creepy.”

“It’s true.” he shrugs. “And you’re not exactly subtle either. We’ve concluded that you like him since, like, months ago. Probably since the end of your second year.”

That was when he and Donghyuck returned back to normal, or at least what normal was before The Night at Renjun’s™, Mark no longer flinching at the dating jokes and Donghyuck clinging to Mark shamelessly. That was also when Mark had started to accept Donghyuck’s PDA instead of pushing him away. He was even the one who initiated skinship at times. Objectively, he gets why they would think like that.

Subjectively, he doesn’t think he suddenly liked Donghyuck back then. There were no changed feelings, no sweaty palms and quickened heartbeats like what he used to experience when he likes someone.

“Speak of the devil,” Jaemin whisper-shouts while shaking Mark’s shoulder, forcing him to turn around.

He’s greeted with a sight of Donghyuck buying something from one of the vendors. Next to him is the boy who dropped him off this morning. Upon further inspection, the boy isn’t taller than Mark, actually looks an inch or two shorter. Donghyuck is (debatably) the same height as Mark but next to the boy, they look equal. It’s probably all the slouching Donghyuck does.

“That’s him,” Mark turns back to Jaemin with wide eyes.

“Yeah, no shit.” his expression turns somber. “He’s about to look this way, crap.”

Mark lets out a noise of panic, whirls around and pretends to be focused at his half eaten tray of food. He’d been so focused on avoiding Donghyuck that he forgot that Donghyuck’s department is neighboring Jaemin’s. Of course he buys his food here. He hears Jaemin greet the younger, and in his peripheral vision he can see Jaemin waving him over to sit with them. Mark pointedly shakes his head and glares at him.

Again, what did he ever do wrong? Is this the karma he gets for disobeying the Bible and fucking dudes? The pastor in his church is pro-LGBT!

Jaemin settles back down after a few seconds, seemingly confused. “He just left.”

Mark checks behind his back to find that they did left. He relaxes his posture, sighing. Jaemin eyes the motion with curious eyes.

“It makes sense that you’re being weird at him, since you have a crush on him and all,” before Mark gets the chance to retort, Jaemin cuts him off, “but Donghyuck? I’m positive he knows it was you I’m sitting with, you’re wearing your favorite hoodie after all. He took one glance at you and bolted.” His head tilts to one side like a confused puppy. “Why is _he_ being weird to _you_?”

Mark contemplates for two whole seconds before blurting out, “I’m sleeping with Donghyuck.”

Head tilting again, Jaemin asks, “What do you mean?”

“It means exactly what it means.” Frustrated, Mark pinches the bridge of his nose. “I fuck him, he fucks me, I blow him, he blows me. You know, the whole package. We sleep together,” a pause, “well, we _used_ to sleep together,” Mark adds bitterly.

Jaemin seems to be rendered speechless. Mark was about to say something along the lines of _Haha I’m kidding me and Donghyuck totally never had sex what are you saying I’m a virgin_ when Jaemin raises his hand to stop him. Mark shuts his mouth.

“Let me... process.” He massages the sides of his head as if willing his brain to work faster. “So back then, when I asked whether you and Donghyuck were dating, it’s true that you guys weren’t dating but just... sleeping with each other?” says Jaemin, words so fast that he almost sounds like he’s rapping. “Like a friends with benefit thing?”

“Exactly like a friends with benefit thing,” Mark confirms.

“Holy shit.”

“Yeah, I know,” Mark nods. “Which is why I freaked when you said I have a crush on him. Not only that he’s now taken, but our relationship is strictly physical. No _feelings_ are to be developed, ever.”

Jaemin takes a sip from his glass of iced tea. The condensation building outside the glass sticks to the tips of his fingers, and he dries them on his jeans. “Starting out physical, doesn’t mean that it can’t end romantically. Me and Renjun literally met when we slept together on that camping trip in high school. And look where we are now.”

The older of them stays silent for a moment, eyes trained on the table. “That’s different.”

“Of course it’s different. I’m just saying that... you can’t help it if you fall for someone. Whether you want it or not, the universe works in different ways. If you two are meant to be, then it’ll happen sooner or later.”

“You sound like a therapist,” Mark sighs and reaches out to pat Jaemin’s chest. “Thanks, dude. That actually helped. I’ll go figure shit out.”

Jaemin grins. “That’s my boy!”

“What’s his boyfriend’s name, anyway? Just curious.” Mark inquires, because he _is_ genuinely curious. He’s totally not planning on naming a voodoo doll after the guy and burning it, totally.

“They aren’t boyfriends yet, they’ve barely gone on one date,” he snorts. Suddenly, his whole face changes. It looks like an imaginary lightbulb just turned on above his head. “His name is Felix. Dude, I just realized. Felix, Mark... Is that Donghyuck’s kink? Screaming out white boys’ name in bed?” His eyes turn round.

Mark almost chokes on his cola. “You know what, I take back everything I said about you sounding like a therapist. Fuck off.”

He stands up to throw away his lunch wrappers while Jaemin laughs amusedly and follows him outside.

__

Avoiding Donghyuck forever would be impossible, Mark thinks. Still, he went out of his way for the past three days to do so. Sadly, his theory was proven to be true when he runs to Donghyuck after a Sunday morning run.

“Java chip frappe; grande.” Mark curtly says to the wide eyed cashier in front of him. Donghyuck hurriedly punches his order, wiping his sweaty palms to his green apron.

“A-anything else?” He stutters. He fucking _stutters_. The Donghyuck he knows never stutters.

Mark shakes his head and hands over his card. Donghyuck’s hand nearly slips off the plastic with how sweaty it is. He curses under his breath, pink coloring his cheeks.

“We’ll call your name when it’s done.” Donghyuck squeaks out. If possible, the blush on his face deepens. He clears his throat and turns around to give his cup to the barista.

Mark stalks off to find a table, oddly satisfied. Seeing Donghyuck flustered and in a loss for words is like seeing a UFO, rare and shocking. It’s evil, he knows, but with the way he’s feeling towards the other boy right now, he can’t be bothered by morals.

What exactly is he feeling to Donghyuck? Don’t ask him, he isn’t sure himself.

He must have been out of his literal mind, because he practically walked into the last place Donghyuck would never be in. Mark memorized Donghyuck’s shifts and knew damn well that he was currently working. Maybe it was Mark’s unconcious, leading him to a place he’s so familiar with and making him forget every ounce of memory from the past week.

He hears his name being called and he stands, half surprised to hear Donghyuck’s voice calling instead of a random barista’s.

“Can we talk?” the younger asks softly when Mark arrives at the counter.

Mark grabs his order and looks Donghyuck straight in the eye.

“What’s there to talk about?”

Donghyuck blanches, probably expecting Mark to brush him off immediately. “Well-“

“On second thought, I’m kinda busy. Maybe later.”

Mark smiles thinly and speedwalks to the door. He can feel Donghyuck’s stare boring holes to his back, but he ignores him, hears the bell above the door jingle as he pushes it and is out of the shop in seconds, like he never was there in the first place.

__

The next weekend, Mark finds himself in a club with the rest of the uni basketball team, celebrating a win. Donghyuck wasn’t there, even though he never missed any of Mark’s games ever since they got to know each other. Mark tried to not feel disappointed because technically, Mark was the one who started this cold war by refusing to talk things through last week.

Jeno is also there, already tipsy and clinging to Mark’s arm for support when he walks. He’s the youngest member, so he keeps on getting shots after shots handed to him by seniors and by tradition, it’d be impolite to reject.

“I think Donghyuck misses your dick,” Jeno bemoans to Mark, twisting in his seat. “He’s so cranky nowadays.”

Mark almost jumps. He’s about to shush Jeno for speaking like that in a table full of people, but to no avail, Lucas, one of Mark’s same-aged friends present there, snaps his head and stares at Mark, mouth falling open.

“Donghyuck misses your _what_?”

“My wig!” Mark yelps, because his one year on EXO stan twitter expanded his vocabulary by only that much. “He misses his wig, I borrowed it for a cosplay, haha.”

Lucas either actually believed him or is very intoxicated because he accepts Mark’s answer with a laugh. “Weird flex, but okay.”

A senior, Kim Jungwoo, snorts at Lucas and gives Mark an innocent smile that indicates he heard exactly what Jeno said. Suddenly, the room, or maybe his face, feels too hot. Mark grabs Jeno’s arms and hoists him up.

“We’re gonna go to the bar,” he excuses to nobody in particular. Some of them give hums of acknowledgement as he wrestles Jeno out of the booth. Jeno makes a small noise of confusion but lets himself be pulled anyway.

Mark steers him to a secluded area with plenty of empty stools. He sat Jeno on one while he stays standing.

“How did you know about me and Donghyuck? Did Jaemin run his mouth again?” He sounds surprisingly calm.

Jeno groans and slurs out, “No, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Then how...?”

“Mark, I love you but do you think I’m dumb? Well, I am to some extent but this, not this!” he complains, “I literally live with Donghyuck. Do you know how many times I’ve seen your clothes in the laudry hamper? Funny enough, I see them right after I found used condoms in the trash or after Donghyuck changed his sheets. Add the fact that you stayed over the night before, and it didn’t take Einstein to piece two and two together,” he pauses, and adds sadly, “Just plain, old, lonely me.”

Huh. So Jeno did knew. Mark has had his suspicions when he discovered how Jeno was never there whenever he came over, even for an innocent movie night. (Those movie nights actually turn less than innocent fifteen minutes in but Jeno doesn’t need to know that.)

“You said Donghyuck’s cranky.”

Jeno nods enthusiastically. “Yes, very. It’s like he’s PMS-ing, Post Mark Syndrome or some shit like that. He snapped at me for asking about you. Like damn, I was just asking whether you have classes on Saturday, since Donghyuck usually knows your schedule by heart, but he threw a fucking pencil at me! I’m not even joking. He threw it and went all like,” he ridiculously ups his pitch to mimic Donghyuck, “‘Do you like Mark or something? Why are you always asking about Mark?’ And no bitch, before I inflate your already overflowing ego, I never once asked about you. I was arranging schedules for a basketball practice and wondered when you’ll be available, but he was so defensive about it.”

Jeno finishes his rant, taking gulps of air to fill his lungs. Mark takes a second or two to process everything he said.

“And Donghyuck never told you anything about us?” Mark asks cautiously, afraid of getting another rant.

Jeno shakes his head. “Never, I’m pretty sure he’s as oblivious as you are. Dumbasses, both of you. Fucking soulmates, I swear. Why am I always the third wheel?” Jeno blabbers. He accepts a shot glass from the bartender— Mark absolutely has no idea when he ordered it —and downs it in one go. He slams the now empty glass to the table. Thankfully, it doesn’t shatter on impact. “I’m hot, nice, did I mention I’m hot. Plus, I have a _huge_ dick! Jeno Junior here enters a room and the rest of me would follow three hours later-“

“I think that’s enough club for today.” Mark cringes. He gently pries Jeno’s tight grip from the table. “I’ll drive you back, let’s say goodbye to the others first.”

What’s really going on with Donghyuck? Shouldn’t he be running around in sunflower fields with that Felix dude instead of sulking around?

He may have a clue of an answer sitting at the back of his head, but he locks it up. Mark will _not_ let his mind go that far. It could happen, of course, he’d seen countless romcoms with a storyline similar to what his imagination has conjured. But that’s exactly what it is. A mere storyline, fictional and too good to be true, especially too good for Mark Lee’s moderately boring life.

“Can you find me a boyfriend, Mark? Pretty please?” Jeno cuddles up to Mark like a cat as they walk back to the table. His literal cats in his dorm likes to do that too. A fruit never falls far from its tree; a pet never acts far from its owner.

“Yeah, sure.” Mark entertains him.

“Or a girlfriend. Non-binary-friend, I don’t care, I swing all ways.” Jeno adds.

Mark giggles, reaching up to stroke Jeno’s hair fondly. “Okay, Jeno.”

__

‘Ur coming to my place tonite. Hyuck and his boy will be there. Idc idc idc haul ur ass here or else’ The text from Renjun reads.

Mark purses his lips, decides whether or not to reply. He types out a short ‘or else what’ but quickly deletes it because hey, he might be petty at times, but childish is never a trait he’s known for. He finally settles on locking his phone and chucking it to his bed. He focuses back on his homework, a monstrous twelve-paged worksheet filled with graphs and tables and equations.

Renjun was referring to a monthly dinner their friend group has. It’s a tradition proposed by Renjun himself after he complained of homesickness. Turns out Renjun used to have huge family dinners each week back in his hometown in China. Everyone went along with it, because hey, free food. A broke college student like Mark will gladly take all the help he can get.

Despite ignoring Renjun’s initial text, Mark still jumps out of his seat to retrieve his phone when he heard it beep. A text notification from Renjun, and two from Donghyuck. Heart racing, he opens Renjun’s first.

Renjun | 5:51 P.M.  
 _Mark u sure ure skipping on kungpao chicken?_

Fuck. Renjun knows his weaknesses all too well. He replies a quick ‘ _hell no omw_ ’ and exits the chat.

His thumb slightly trembles as he opens his and Donghyuck’s chat window. They haven’t sent each other anything since eighteen days ago. The last sent media is a picture of Mark’s boner, between lewd, graphic texts about what he would like to do to Donghyuck as soon as he came back. Mark remembers it vividly; he was horny, blue-balled in his grandparents’ home in Canada for the weekend. It followed with an hour long of phone sex and after, another hour of Donghyuck ranting about his lazy group project members from a class.

Donghyuck | 5:49 P.M.  
 _hey mark.. are you gna come over to renjuns????_  
 _i miss you :(_

Oh he has got to be kidding. Mark’s left eye twitches involuntarily at the second text because, what the fuck. What the fuck is Donghyuck playing right now. They don’t talk for two weeks and suddenly he acts like everything is normal? Did he even took a second to reevaluate what he had typed before he hit send? Mark doesn’t know if he feels amazed or if he feels like crying.

In the end, Mark already said yes so he brushes out the tangled ends of his hair, pulls on a jacket and dabs a tiny bit of cologne to his neck. He grabs his keys and heads out to Renjun’s apartment. It’s a big, spacious apartment he shares with Jaemin, right next to a busy main street in the heart of the town. They both come from a rich family, making them able to afford such expensive property some time after they got together. Mark himself lives in a tiny student apartment few blocks away from campus, while Donghyuck and Jeno stayed at the campus dorms. So, it makes sense for them to hang out at the only place that actually fits all of them.

As soon as he arrives, though, he founds out that the universe just _loves_ to fuck with him, because the first person he comes face to face with is apparently none other than the source of all his questions for the past few weeks.

“Mark,” Donghyuck breathed out, hand still frozen to the door handle.

Mark tries not to let any emotion seep through. He keeps his poker face intact as he says, “Donghyuck. Nice to see you.”

The younger boy’s eyes widen, and he looks down at the ground for a moment before lifting his head back up and smiling softly, “You too.”

There’s a pause, Donghyuck just staring at his face with a dopey smile. Mark raises an eyebrow.

“Uh, are you gonna let me in or...”

“Oh, yeah! Come on in,” Donghyuck snaps out of his trance and ushers Mark in. His fingers press into the crook of Mark’s elbow as he does that and Mark reflexibly flinches. His touch is warm, familiar yet strange at the same time. Mark pulls his arm away, but Donghyuck doesn’t seem to notice.

He walks into the dining room, table empty save for neatly arranged silverware over folded napkins. Jaemin and Renjun’s voice are heard from the kitchen, probably still cooking. Must be nice being Renjun, already able to cook but also getting a boyfriend who’s equally as good at cooking. Mark and his tiny microwave back home can only heat up restaurant leftovers, and even that causes a high risk of fire.

“Mark, right?”

Mark whirls around at the unfamiliar voice and, _oh_.

It’s Donghyuck’s boyfriend.

Up close, he’s fairly handsome. Mark can see why Donghyuck could ever fall for him. He’s a little shorter than Mark, but the aura he exudes says otherwise. Those things combined, the guy is attractive, for sure.

“Yes. And you must be... Fred?” Mark says with a tone dripping with saccharine. He knows that’s not actually his name, Mark’s just being a little shit at this point. He’s got nothing to lose.

The guy laughs. It’s a charming laugh, Mark curses under his breath. When _he_ laughs, it sounds like (actual words from Donghyuck): ‘a dying walrus crying for help’. (He’d said it with a fond smile, so Mark can’t really decide whether it’s a compliment or an insult.)

“It’s Felix, but close enough. I heard you’re also an English speaker?” he asks the last bit in English. Mark discreetly grits his teeth. Donghyuck just had to go with someone so similar to him.

Nevertheless, Mark is still a man with manners, so he smiles and nods. He’d curse Felix out later, alone and in the confines of his home like a pathetic (but well-mannered, at least) loser. “Born and raised Canadian. I assume you’re from Australia, with the accent?” he says.

Felix grins. “Spot on. Donghyuck talked a lot about you.”

“Did he?” Mark responds neutrally. He’s totally cool and collected. The epitome of calm. He is also acting, but Felix doesn’t need to know that.

“Yeah, man. You guys must be close,” he tacks on.

Mark pastes on a thin smile. “We’ve been friends for a while.”

Their conversation ends short, which Mark is infinitely grateful for, because soon after, Renjun is calling for everyone to gather at the dining room.

He finds Donghyuck at his designated seat, far right of the rectangular table. Next to him is where Mark used to sit. Hence why Donghyuck is expectantly looking at him and patting his chair. However, Mark throws his gaze and sits at the chair farthest from him. He sees Felix coming around to sit at his old seat from his peripheral and something in his chest constricts a little, but he lets it subside. It’s time to move on.

Mark pauses.

Move on. What is he moving on from?

He snaps his head and instantly, his gaze meets Donghyuck. He studies the curve of his nose, a cute, button shape that Mark liked to kiss in the middle of making out, just to earn the surprised shriek that Donghyuck let out everytime. His eyes fell to his fingers, pretty and thin and perfect, never shy to run on Mark’s skin or leave imprints on his back. His hair, recently dyed a stunning silver, for whenever it got too long, Mark would grip at it as leverage to tilt his head sideways, Donghyuck letting out the sweetest of whimpers when Mark’s mouth found home in the crook of his neck.

His lips, let’s not forget about his lips. A pair of lips that has been on Mark’s more times he can count. There was a chapstick Donghyuck often used, tasting exactly like watermelons. He bought it as a joke but to his surprise, Mark loved it. He continued to buy it, just to make Mark happy.

And that’s not even all. Mark can map out every inch of Donghyuck’s body and recall at least one fond memory he has of it. After that, he can list every single non-physical aspect of Donghyuck that he adores. Like the way Donghyuck laughed even when Mark said the stupidest jokes, or how Donghyuck dragged him to the dorm’s communal kitchen and cooked him a whole plate of food after he found out Mark hadn’t eaten anything for twenty hours during his practical exam, or the time Donghyuck spammed Mark with pictures of puppies until he answered Donghyuck’s text that asked him if he’d got home safe.

It’s not a tear-jerking moment, or a revelation so shocking that he’d feel the need to sing out like the musicals. It’s just him, sitting in a dinner table filled with chatter and realizing that he is in love with Donghyuck. Or maybe because it’s not a realization at all. He has always realized somewhere deep in his heart, but his brain must have refused to cooperate.

He’s still thinking about it when they’ve all moved to the couch. Donghyuck’s boyfriend left straight after dinner, which means Donghyuck took the opportunity to shamelessly plop down right next to Mark. Their shoulders are touching, Mark stays silent while Donghyuck cheers for Jeno and Jaemin singing a duet on Renjun’s home karaoke. His eyes flit to the rips of Donghyuck’s tight jeans, showcasing patches of smooth, golden thighs, just out of habit. (His other habit is also grabbing said thighs, but that’d be wildly inappropriate considering their circumstances, so he stopped himself from doing so.)

“What’s on your mind?” Donghyuck’s soft voice inquired.

Donghyuck wasn’t looking at him, eyes focused on the commotion up front, Jaemin headbanging and Jeno on air guitar as they sing their hearts out. Mark sees his hands wringed together and he oh so badly wants to hold one of them.

Yes, he’s not afraid to admit it. He’s fucking in love with Donghyuck. He wants to do all the sappy shit couples do and do them with Donghyuck. Of course, he’d never voice these out loud, at least for now. But that’s a step, right? At least he acknowledges his feelings. A step in the right direction.

“Nothing in particular,” Mark says. A pause, and he continues, because he’s tired of beating around the bush anymore, “Where’d your boyfriend go?”

Donghyuck stiffens, but quickly relaxes with a sigh. “He was never my boyfriend, why does everyone keep saying that,” he grumbles.

“Because you went on a date with him?” Mark snorts.

“It was one time,” he sighs once more. “He stuck around after because he’s pretty cool. Anyway, it doesn’t matter anymore.”

“Why?”

“Because I broke it off with him.” This time, Donghyuck turns to Mark as he speaks. “Minutes ago, I told him we should stop seeing each other because it’s simply wasn’t fair to him if I keep leading him on.”

All around him, his friends’ loud voices are drowned by the roaring in Mark’s ear. What does Donghyuck mean?

Donghyuck must have read the confusion written all over Mark’s face because he continues, so softly that Mark wouldn’t have heard it if he wasn’t paying attention, “I like someone else.”

Mark stills. His head feels like someone has stuffed a pile of cotton in it.

He says cautiously, “And who might that someone else be?”

Donghyuck locks his gaze, and smiles. It’s a smile so full of secrets and temptations that Mark can’t help to be pulled in.

“You know _exactly_ who it is.”

With that, Donghyuck goes back to cheering and laughing with the others. This time, Renjun is singing a heartfelt ballad. He turns around to grin at Donghyuck, offering him a microphone. Donghyuck gladly takes it, stands, and they deliver what might be the most dramatic rendition of Lee Hi’s ‘Breathe’ ever.

The night ends without another word exchanged between them, but Mark thinks it might be for the best.

__

When Mark had brought his first high school girlfriend home, Mark’s mother drilled one saying straight into Mark’s skull.

“Treat every girl you meet with respect. Whether she’s a stranger, a friend, a lover. One day, she’ll be your wife, and you’ll be forever grateful that you treated her like a queen.”

It was fucking corny; a quote he’d expect to see in relationship Facebook pages or something. His older brother Johnny took it way more seriously than he did, waxing poetry to his girlfriends and soon becoming a self-proclaimed feminist. In Johnny’s defense, he _did_ became more popular with girls than Mark would ever be.

Obviously, that was before the fateful day of his sophomore year, when his mother had walked in to him sucking faces with a dude, right in the confines of his childhood bedroom.

They were all sat down in the living room when he confessed that he might be bisexual. Mark’s father had smiled supportively, Johnny had cheered and clapped his back, but Mark’s mother had paused for a second, seeming to be deep in thought.

“All I can say is,” she started. “treat every girl, or boy, you meet with respect. Whether they’re a stranger, friend or lover, because one day they’ll be your wife— or husband —, and you’ll be forever grateful that you treated them like... royalty.”

Johnny responded with a ‘ _Mom, same-sex marriage isn’t yet legal here,_ ‘ and Mark’s mother fired back with a ‘ _Then I’ll send him back to Canada for all I care,_ ‘ and Mark grinned so big he felt like his face was about to burst.

So that’s exactly what Mark will be doing to win Donghyuck’s heart.

“You’re gonna be his servant?” Renjun concludes after listening to Mark’s spiel.

He mentally facepalms. Going to Renjun was a bad idea. Sadly, he’s the only person who has an inkling of clue of what Donghyuck actually feels. Mark can play nice for a little while.

“That’s literally not what I meant at all.”

“Then what was I supposed to take out of it?” he snorts.

The sun set some hours ago, and they’re sitting on a bench outside Renjun’s lecture hall, enjoying the chilly breeze. His last evening class just ended, hence the odd location. Mark is stuffing his face with food because he woke up late for his afternoon classes and had to skip lunch, while Renjun leisurely works on his assignments. Renjun is also there to supposedly help Mark figure shit out with Donghyuck, but it’s been an hour since they sat down and Renjun has been everything but helpful.

Right now, they’re discussing many ways on how Mark should confess.

“I should do something grand. He likes drama, right?” Mark blabbers. “God, does he even like me like that? Renjun, please please please tell me I won’t make a huge fool out of myself.”

“You make a fool out of yourself every single day,” Renjun snarks. Mark shuts up, but paints on a deadly pout that he knows will crumble Renjun’s walls everytime. Renjun’s left eye twitches. “No, Mark. A confession like that to Donghyuck will leave you with a bruise in the balls and an even more bruised self esteem. Believe me, I’ve been a witness.”

“Fine then, maybe I won’t do it at all.” Mark must look like an actual five year old when he’s sulking like that.

The boy in front of him sent him a glare as sharp as daggers.

“Oh hell no. We are _not_ going through this again. You will confess, and you will confess today.” He stands up and walks to Mark’s side of the table, shaking the older boy’s shoulders. It’s probably meant to toughen him up, but Mark can only feel his body lazily swaying along with the rapid movement.

“See, Mark,” Renjun sighs as he stills and gives up. “This is exactly the source of your problem. You’re too lenient. You won’t put up a fight.”

At that, Mark perks up. He faces Renjun confusedly. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, you’re too comfortable. You _know_ you have feelings for Donghyuck since long ago, maybe even longer than me. But you let them go. Repressed them, pretend they don’t exist,” says Renjun. “For what reason, I have no idea. And now, you can’t accept it when Donghyuck makes an attempt to find someone else,” a pause, “Donghyuck has been waiting for you to _fight_ for him, Mark. He’s been waiting for you to actually run after him. You just never got the hint, hence why you always went back to the starting line, without making any fucking progress.”

Renjun ends his speech by heaving his body down next to Mark’s. He snatches the half eaten paper plate of pasta in front of him, angrily shoving a forkful to his mouth.

Truthfully, Mark has little to no experience when it comes to anything serious. He’s had four whole relationships before, and none of them ever stays longer than the three months mark. But Donghyuck.

Donghyuck is different from any of his exes. They never got through the awkward first date, the uncomfortable first kiss, the shy hand holding, or any other stuff he’d done while dating. Donghyuck is the first person he’d call when he wants to try eating somewhere new or watching a new box office. Donghyuck is the only person he’d exclusively swap spits with in the last several months. Donghyuck’s hand spends more time touching Mark’s than it is alone. With Donghyuck, everything comes all at once. Either he’s your everything, or he’s your nothing. And Mark is inclined to believe he’s already fallen to the first category ever since his eyes meet Donghyuck’s in that godforsaken club.

“I love him,” Mark croaks out. “God, I fucking love him.”

“Then tell it to _him_ , loser.” Renjun snorts.

Body charged with newfound determination, Mark jumps out of his seat. “You’re right. I’ll go tell him— right now.”

Renjun drops the fork and snaps his head to Mark with wide eyes, “Mark, it’s eight PM on a Tuesday night. I don’t mean literally right now.”

“Doesn’t matter! Thanks Renjun!”

“That’s not an encouragement— hey! Mark!”

Renjun’s voice goes unheard because Mark is already sprinting away.

__

“Look who decided to show up.”

Mark turns around at the sound of the familiar voice. He checks his watch, 9:06 PM, just six minutes after shift change. Donghyuck steps out of the coffee shop backdoor in all of his green-aproned glory. He reaches back to untie it, but a wince forming in his face made Mark hurriedly walk over to silently untie it himself.

“Thank you,” Donghyuck huffs. “Hurt my right shoulder while carrying some supply boxes.”

“You should be more careful,” says Mark. After he’s done, Donghyuck turns around and gives him a small smile.

“Yeah.”

He pulls the apron over his head, messing up his hair in the process. Sweat beads on his temple but Mark thinks he looks no less than perfect tonight.

Realizing Mark’s full attention on him, Donghyuck raises an eyebrow. “Something on my face?”

“Nothing,” eyes still trained on Donghyuck, “you just look so handsome.” He answers truthfully.

At that, Donghyuck lets a shocked gasp come out of his mouth. Mark can’t help but feel satisfied with his reaction. He’s not hiding shit anymore. That was what caused him to be six feet deep in denial at the first place. Right now, Mark’s finally dug his way to the surface. He’ll be blunt, lay his heart on his sleeve and let the world see, as long as it’ll make him win Donghyuck by the end of the night.

“Whatever,” Donghyuck mumbles. Donghyuck 0, Mark 1.

They set off, walking slowly. Despite the sudden confidence running through his system, Mark doesn’t dare to walk next to the younger. That is until Donghyuck stops and turns around, nearly making Mark crash to him.

“What even are you doing here, Mark?” he sighs. His hands are buried deep inside his pockets, and Mark really, really wants to hold them.

Instead, Mark rubs the back of his neck nervously. It _is_ kind of weird for him to suddenly visit Donghyuck at his workplace without saying anything beforehand, especially with their circumstances right now. Nevertheless, he blurts out the first thing he can think of right now.

“Do you want to go eat some tteokbokki?”

“Tteokbokki?”

“Yes. Your favorite one next to that laundy place?”

Donghyuck looks at him weirdly, and Mark can practically taste rejection sitting at the back of his tongue. But to his surprise, Donghyuck shrugs.

“Sure.”

And Donghyuck must be dead set on getting back at Mark, because he extends a pinky from his left hand, offering it. He smiles.

Mark gulps, links their pinkies in defeat.

Donghyuck 1, Mark 1.

Seoul at day is a pretty picture, but at night it’s a straight up painting. Skyscrapers and towering apartments decorate the skyline with varying colors, cars whizzing past as they walk along the sidewalk. The night is still young, with tourists -and couples alike walking leisurely around them. He feels detached, though. Almost like he and Donghyuck are in their own little bubble, invisible to prying eyes.

“What do you wanna order?” Donghyuck asks, swinging their hands back and forth.

When Mark glances at him, he finds that the younger is already looking. They both flush scarlet, eyes finding every other thing more interesting than each other. It’s humorous. They shouldn’t be acting like blushing virgins when they literally started their whole relationship backwards.

Clearing his throat, Mark speaks, “I’ll just go get whatever you’re getting.”

Donghyuck responds in a laugh. “There is no way in hell you’ll survive my usual. We had that taco last month and you went straight to the bathroom, even when it was nowhere near spicy for my taste.”

“Okay then, I’ll just have it milder.” Mark sends a pout. His hand slithers down to fully grab at Donghyuck’s, his thicker fingers lacing with Donghyuck’s knobby, skinnier ones, fitting perfectly.

Not wanting to miss the moment, Mark quickly pulls at his hand, bringing their bodies closer. Shoulders touching and steps synchronizing, Donghyuck raises an eyebrow.

“Bold, are we?” He lets out. Mark has no idea whether Donghyuck was referring to his mildly spicy order or on what just Mark did seconds earlier. He concludes it was probably a combination of both.

So he grins. It’s the kind of grin he knows Donghyuck adores. When his eyes twinkles of challenge and his face gets all scrunched up. Donghyuck takes one look at him and grins right back.

“‘Course. I’m going all out tonight, just so you know.”

There comes a lull in their conversation, and Mark is sure Donghyuck grasped the implication under his words.

Moments later, until, “Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Donghyuck finally whispers to the air between them.

They continue the short trek to the roadside stall in silence. Mark’s palms feel disgustingly sweaty, and if Donghyuck feels it as well, he doesn’t show. He’s twenty-one, goddammit, he will _not_ be rendered to a giggling middle school girl about to have her first date. Even though Mark suspects he already sports the similarities; sweaty palms, pounding heartbeat, even the rampage of zoo animals parading in the pit of his stomach.

Maybe it’s Donghyuck. That’d explain why Mark has never, ever felt this way with someone else before. It’s Donghyuck’s pearly white teeth and tousled hair, Donghyuck’s sharp tongue and sweet voice. Donghyuck’s everything, basically.

He’d call it The Donghyuck Effect; breaking and robbing hearts, left and right since ‘00. He’d write a book about it, one hundred and twenty pages worth of poetry he’d wax from staring at how pretty Donghyuck’s eyes are all day. And that’s only one chapter.

Awoken from his musing, Mark finds himself already seated opposite of the younger. Between them is a small table with two glasses of water, and Donghyuck is currently shouting their orders to the bustling waiters at the back of the room. A lady’s voice shouted a confirmation back. Donghyuck settles back to his seat, taking his glass of water and taking small sips of it.

Mark silently watches him put his glass down and lace his hands together, putting them under his chin. The artificial lighting of the store nearly takes out all the glow from Donghyuck’s skin. He sighs, eyes trained on the table.

Mark was just about to break the silence until Donghyuck speaks up.

“Mark Lee,” he starts. He raises his eyes to look straight into Mark’s. “I think I like you.”

Contrary to Mark’s countless daydreams, the world didn’t stop spinning. His ears didn’t go suddenly deaf, there weren’t fireworks or dynamites exploding behind his eyelids. He heard him alright, loud and clear. Donghyuck likes him.

He gnaws at his lips, unsure of what to say. Those words are all he’s been waiting to hear all this time, and by the time it’s finally said, he’s rendered speechless.

“Donghyuck, I-“

“No, no wait. Let me- let me finish.” Donghyuck cuts him off with an index finger pressed on Mark’s lips. He must’ve done it on reflex, because soon after he realizes that he’s touching Mark’s lips and he squeaks, hand jolting back, cheeks stained cherry. “Um. I like you, Mark. I really, really fucking like you. The night first met each other, I’m pretty sure I’ve liked you since then. But I was scared. I was fucking scared- of god knows what. Commitment? Actual relationship? I have no idea. So I called him— someone I barely know from a fucking seminar, shit, asked him to drive me to campus, he’s nice enough and we get along and one thing led to another but...” he paused, lowering his gaze, “the whole time I was with him, you were the one that’s always on my mind.”

Mark can’t take it anymore. He stands up, startling Donghyuck who looks up at him with wide eyes. He throws several bills on the table, probably too much.

“Mark?” Donghyuck asks, confused. Mark yells to the restaurant staffs that the money is on the table, tugs at Donghyuck’s hand. “Mark where are you going? Your food isn’t even half finished yet!”

Mark stays silent. His mind is running a hundred miles a minute as he speedwalks to the exit, Donghyuck in tow.

They burst into the main streets. The city is still bustling with life even with the clock nearing midnight. He steers his way through oncoming pedestrians, grip tightening on the younger boy’s sweaty hand. His ears are buzzing.

“Hello? Mark?” Donghyuck calls once again. Mark’s mind zeroes in on the voice like a bee following the drip of honey— captivated, hypnotized. The moment he spots what he was looking for some meters away, he breaks into a run, Donghyuck yelping behind him in surprise. “Mark- hey!”

It’s an alley. Dark and dry, situated right next to a closed chinese restaurant and a club. Muted bass from the club seeps into the alley and Mark pulls the both of them in.

“Donghyuck,” he breathes out, twisting his body to the other boy until they’re eye to eye. They can’t really see each other, but Mark can sense Donghyuck’s presence even from a mile away. “I love you.”

He doesn’t give Donghyuck a chance to respond because he’s already leaning forward, hands clasped on the other’s waist as he presses their lips together. It’s soft, sweet, and Mark is almost panicked when he felt Donghyuck unresponsive— but just like that, the younger relaxes. His arms come up to circle Mark’s neck, and in no time, he was kissing back with fervor. Mark doesn’t even realize his back had hit the wall, too lost in the sensation of the younger’s chapped lips on his. They part for breath, and Mark’s tongue dip out to lick at his lips.

“Goddamit, Mark Lee.” Their forehead rests on each other, sharing oxygen. Donghyuck’s hands slides up to finger at Mark’s windswept hair. “We’re a fucking mess.”

“I love you.” Mark repeats, letting out a laugh when Donghyuck pushes him back.

“I can’t believe you one-upped me again.” He grumbles. Donghyuck’s hand searches for Mark’s, and he grips it, tightly. As if Mark would ever let go after this.

They emerge into the light, hair mussed and fingers tangled with matching grins painted on their face. Anyone with eyes can easily point out what they had been doing in that dark alley. But it’s a beautiful night, everyone is minding their own business and no one really cares enough to look at them or their joined hands.

Mark swings it back and forth as they start their journey back. “I’ll let you even things out then. Go on.”

“What?”

“You heard me.”

Donghyuck fell silent for a few seconds, not understanding the implication under Mark’s words, until a gasp exits his mouth. “Okay. Um. Mark. Mark Lee.”

“You’ve said my full name an awful amount this night.”

“Oh shut it.” Mark feels the roll of the younger’s eyes more than he sees it. Donghyuck clears his throat, “Will you- will you be my boyfriend?”

Mark smiles. He pretends to think for a while, though, not wanting to miss a chance of teasing Donghyuck. “I don’t know, will I?”

“Okay, that’s it, I’m breaking up with you-“

“No, no! I’m joking!” he cackles. Between them, the future is a glob of mystery. He’s not even sure of what to tell his friends, what their reaction will be. How his dynamics with Donghyuck will change. All that matters now, right now, is Donghyuck’s hand in his and Donghyuck’s steps matching his. That’s all that matters for now.

Mark brings their joined hands up to his lips. Whispers a sentence— a promise —right to the soft skin of Donghyuck’s palm.

“I’d love to.”

———


End file.
